This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
