We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
