worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
