I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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