His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Non-Jews are for practice
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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