I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
