My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
