Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
