I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
