Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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