Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
