I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
