Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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