He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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