You made me cry and you don't even care
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
