Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
