this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
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