I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
