Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
