i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
