Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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