she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
