everyone is single if you try hard enough
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
