I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
