that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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