my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
