Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
