You're completely useless in the revolution.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
