people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
