My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
i out mim tonsoeep
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