420 ftw
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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