can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
