Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
