new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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