Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
