from now on my penis is your penis
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
All I want is dick and wine.
My vagina just clenched in fear
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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