I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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