Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
