Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Randomize
