I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
