I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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