Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
