VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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