Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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