The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I have feelings that need drinking.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
