nut hugger
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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