just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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