Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
