so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize