The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
