Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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