WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
