i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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