I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
We got so high we made milksteak
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
