I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
