Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
