some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
