it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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