I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
we should paint friendship bongs
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