Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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