I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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